ARE WE THERE YET?

Heber Springs sailors think (or swim) inside box

Watercraft of all shapes and sizes compete in the yearly World Championship Cardboard Boat Races at Heber Springs.
Watercraft of all shapes and sizes compete in the yearly World Championship Cardboard Boat Races at Heber Springs.

HEBER SPRINGS - Definitions of “wacky” include “eccentric,” “irrational,” “crazy” and “silly.” So it hardly sounds like a designation to be desired.

But Heber Springs can feel buoyed by the fact that the World Championship Cardboard Boat Races, to be staged Saturday on Greers Ferry Lake, have been named one of the year’s Top 10 Wacky U.S. Summer Events by the popular TripAdvisor website.

The nautical extravaganza shares the jocular honor with Nebraska’s Wayne Chicken Show, Florida’s Lower Keys Underwater Music Festival, Indiana’s Pierogi Fest, Pennsylvania’s Rain Day Festival, Michigan’s Cheeseburger in Caseville, New Jersey’s Weird Contest Week, Washington’s National Lentil Festival, Minnesota’s Internet Cat Video Festival and North Carolina’s BugFest.

During Heber Springs’ 27th annual day of irrational eccentricity and silly craziness, competitors from near and far will launch their custom-made craft from Sandy Beach on the city’s shoreline. This year’s theme is “Sailing With the Superheroes.”

After a quarter-century, these races over a 500-foot course have become serious tourism business while retaining their tongue-in-cheek tenor. Admission to Sandy Beach remains free, but there’s a $5 charge for parking. Crowds are large enough that arriving well before the 10 a.m. starting time is advised to get a choice vantage point for the races.

If you’d like to become a cardboard-boat captain or crewman rather than a mere spectator, it’s still possible to enter the competition. The fee today or Friday is $45 for a one- or two-person vessel, $50 for a team of three or more; race-day entries cost an extra $5. There are separate races for adults and children 12 and under. Entry forms canbe found at heber-springs.com.

That website lists extensive rules and regulations. All boats must be built of corrugated cardboard “and, if the judges deem it necessary, must pass the dreaded ‘Ice Pick Test’ and ‘Metal Detector Test!’ This verifies that the boat is constructed of only cardboard.” The exceptions to the cardboard rule are oars, propulsion system and steering devices.

“If you don’t want your boat to sink,” the race committee urges, “waterproof the entire boat with a one part substance paint. … This eliminates epoxy glue, fiberglass and certain varnishes.” What’s more, “You cannot wrap the entire boat with plastic or duct tape or any similar tape or wrap. Duct tape can only be used at the seams and stress points.”

Along with trophies for speed in the adult and youth divisions, there’ll be the annual Pride of the Fleet Award recognizing engineering details and design innovation. The Captain’s Award will go to the team with best costumes, best involvement with spectators and best team spirit. The Titanic Award will be given for the most dramatic sinking (while not trying to sink).

On dry land, Saturday’s festive fun at Sandy Beach will include a treasure dig, a tug of war and a watermelon-eating contest. There’ll be food vendors at the beach, which normally does not have such concessions.

Greers Ferry Lake, which has made the Heber Springs area a magnet for fishermen (with catches of record size) and boaters, exists thanks to the federally built Greers Ferry Dam. Intended to control flooding on the Little Red River, it was dedicated on Oct. 3, 1963, by President John F. Kennedy in one of his last major public appearances before his assassination in Dallas.

However you may feel about the damming of America’s natural waterways, it’s worth a stop at William Carl Garner Visitor Center, along Arkansas 25 at the western end of the dam.

If statistics fascinate you, one exhibit points out that a cubic yard of concrete weighs 4,050 pounds. The dam contains 856,000 cubic yards of concrete, which makes it weight nearly 3.5 billion pounds - heavy enough to sink whole navies and likely beyond even Superman’s lifting capacity.

The website heber-springs.com also has information on lodging, dining, shopping and other visitor amenities in and around Heber Springs.

A worthy lunch location with a view is the dining room at Red Apple Inn, west of Heber Springs at Eden Isle. The menu features an array of sandwiches and salads with ethnic roots including Mexican, Cuban, Italian, Greek, Thai and Vietnamese. Call (800) 733-2775or visit redappleinn.com.

Weekend, Pages 38 on 07/25/2013

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