While on the road a while back, I stopped at a cafe in a small Virginia town. Because the tables were close together, I could hear every word at the table next to me. Seated there were a married couple and the father of one of the two.
The younger man complained that his asparagus soup tasted like asparagus-flavored cream. The older man complained that his biscuit was not adequately toasted.
Then the three started discussing the meanings of the words "alumna," "alumnus" and "alumni."
They ended up deciding on the wrong uses of the words, and I showed great restraint in not correcting them. But I can write about it here.
An alumnus is a man who has attended a certain school. The plural is alumni.
An alumna is a woman who has attended a school. I just learned that "alumnae" is the plural.
Alumni is also the plural used for such a group of men and women.
Next, the three began discussing the word "oxymoron."
I looked around, wondering whether I had stumbled into a Grammar Cafe in The Twilight Zone or was simply in the middle of a strange vocabulary dream.
The younger man said he now hears oxymorons all the time, more so than in the past. The older man, trying to be witty, said that, back in his day, an oxymoron was just a stupid ox.
Ouch.
An oxymoron is a phrase or sentence that uses words that normally wouldn't seem to go together, sometimes to make a point.
The word comes from Greek roots that mean "pointedly foolish,'' not unlike the older man's joke about the ox.
Some examples of oxymorons:
open secret
deafening silence
liquid gas
seriously funny
act naturally
found missing
unbiased opinion
detailed summary
Cynical people have their own large collection of oxymorons. These phrases may be uttered with a sneer:
military intelligence
jumbo shrimp
government organization
peace force
political science
nonalcoholic beer
William Shakespeare loved oxymorons. Here are some from him:
I must be cruel only to be kind. (Hamlet)
With fearful bravery (Julius Caesar)
Do that good mischief (The Tempest)
Parting is such sweet sorrow. (Romeo and Juliet)
And here are some from other writers:
Hateful good -- Geoffrey Chaucer
Proud humility -- Edmund Spenser
Darkness visible -- John Milton
Melancholy merriment -- Lord Byron
"I like a smuggler. He is the only honest thief." -- Charles Lamb
"And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true." -- Alfred Tennyson
"I can resist anything, except temptation." -- Oscar Wilde
And because I mention Yankee great Yogi Berra whenever possible, I will include one from him:
"No one goes to that restaurant anymore. It's always too crowded."
Sources: The Associated Press Stylebook, Merriam-Webster, fun-with-words.com, atkinsbookshelf.wordpress.com, yourdictionary.com, The Freeman Institute, guy-sports.com
Reach Bernadette at
bkwordmonger@gmail.com
ActiveStyle on 05/01/2017