Wednesday, July 11, 2018
NOTE: Dear colleague, this is a Top Secret strategy guide for our less experienced congressmen and senators. For your disapproving pleasure, please use these handy talking points when the press asks you about President Trump's nominees for the federal bench. Especially the big one. Elections only have consequences when our folks are elected. Just fill in a name, below, whenever the president nominates somebody to the Supreme Court, and read from the prompter. Of course, change the he's and she's where needed. Remember that it helps to pound one fist into the other palm while talking, so the media sees you're serious. Above all, try to keep a straight face.
The president of the United States, as he promised during the election, has nominated the wholly unqualified (NOMINEE) to the nation's highest court. I will fight this nomination with everything I have. Nothing less than the American way of life is at stake.
If (NOMINEE) were to become a member of the Supreme Court, health care for millions would be put in jeopardy. The people of (YOUR STATE) did not send me to Washington to pull the rug out from under poor women and children. If (NOMINEE) were confirmed, America would be unrecognizable.
Judge (NOMINEE's) America would be a land in which women are forced into back-alley abortions, rogue police would break down citizens' doors in midnight raids, legal marriages will be dissolved by the millions, writers and artists will be censored at the whim of the government, and the doors of the federal courts shut on the fingers of millions of citizens.
The Congress, especially the Senate through its advise-and-consent duty, has come together on a bipartisan basis to protect women's reproductive rights and to protect health care for millions of Americans before--including those with pre-existing conditions. We need to do it again. I will oppose Judge (NOMINEE's) nomination with everything I have, and I hope a bipartisan majority will do the same. The stakes are simply too high for anything less.
If Americans believe in sensible gun laws, a working court system, civil rights and civilization itself, now is the time to fight. I'm calling on Americans from all walks of life to make their voices heard from now until the end of this battle. They can call the White House, or just protest at your favorite Mexican restaurant.
Justices who sit on the most important court in the world should not be in the pocket of corporate special interests and extreme right-wing organizations. As Mr. [or Mrs.] (NOMINEE) surely is.
With this nomination, the president has made it clear that he meant it when he said he would have a litmus test for the Supreme Court, and that a woman's right to choose should be overturned. This is a corrupt bargain made between the president, Washington interests and far-right, big corporations, not to mention the NRA.
By the way, no fair. This president is nominating a judge for the Supreme Court well into his second year in office. And the Republicans held off on a vote on our pick in the last few months of a lame-duck presidency in 2016. They started it. Did too. Which is why we should wait until the next election before making a mistake like putting (NOMINEE) on the court.
Plus, he's been a lawyer.
Therefore, after a lot of consideration and looking at his [or her] record, I've come to the conclusion that the people of (YOUR STATE) and Americans in general would want me to vote "nay" on Judge (NOMINEE's) nomination. Maybe after the defeat of (NOMINEE), the president will send to the United States Senate a more qualified member of the judiciary to take this most important seat.
By the way, this weekend I hope SNL just nails Trump and (NOMINEE).
Editorial on 07/11/2018
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